19 December 2008

Today Only!

I don’t remember if it was this way last year at the holidays, or if the economic situation has ratcheted things up a notch, but this year I am bombarded by sales pitches. Every day for a week, I have received 8 to 12 emails each day from retailers enticing me to buy something. It’s the same stores sending me a new email every day, making my inbox a broken record. Didn’t I just delete that email yesterday?

But each day is a different incentive: discounts? one day only? gifts under $10? gifts under $6? free shipping! additional discounts! buy something red! (?) something free if I hurry? clearance items? last minute gifts? extra points on my rewards card? free gift with purchase!

None of these offers have enticed me to do anything except hit delete. Right now I am not going to buy any of that, no matter how much of whatever they offer me. But since the economy is bad and I know that retailers are suffering and that circumstances are dire, I actually sort of … feel … kind of … guilty. Like I’m saying “No” to a desperate plea each time I click delete.

Hey! Want to buy this? No thanks.
What about this? No.
Okay how about these – they’re buy one get one free! No, really.
Just buy it! We’ll give you a free gift. No. Not now.
Please buy something? No, I already said No.
Are you sure you don’t want to buy something? I’m sure.
But we thought maybe you wanted one of these. No, I don’t.
We’ll ship it to you for free. No.
Yes we will. I know, but still – No.
Oh, just buy something from us, will you? No!
Please? No.
Pretty please? No!!
Pretty please with sugarplums? No, No, No!!
Fine! But this is the last time we’re asking you. Fine.
Don’t expect to get this great offer tomorrow. Fine, I don’t want it anyway!
And today is your last chance for free shipping, too! Good!
Until tomorrow. Okay.
See you then? Yeah, see you tomorrow.

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